my life is slowly coming back together. the good thing is i have eric back. i am so happy. i really hope it works and think it's for the best. we are TRYING. and with therapy involved, no matter what happens...NOW we can say we gave it our all. the better thing is that i realize he doesn't define who i am, he isn't all that i am, but compliments me and makes me a better person by being my partner. be happy for me. be happy for us. we are really going to do everything we can to make our marriage work.

it's amazing what it took for me to see that i am my own person and CAN survive without a man or a partner or whatever...alone. unattached. i certainly didn't think i was going to make it or that i could. everyone saw that. what i have discovered is that i CAN do it...i would have lived. but i knew in my heart that i wanted this marriage. not just someone to be with...but eric. i am so glad that we have a second chance at a healthy relationship. if you can't love yourself how can you love someone else...is what i'm told. well i have and gave and gave and loved and loved and loved...just not myself. i'm working on realizing that i'm not half bad. ;)

i took this week off. much needed. i had to regroup mentally and emotionally. actually i guess i was pretty physically drained from the trauma of the situation too. i'm working a lot on getting the house together. i wish my carpet would come in so we could get moved into the big blue room!!! i can't believe that eric loves that paint as much as i do. he's not very fond of my pink bathroom...but that's OK!

i moved my new york trip to next week. still going!!!! just had a few scheduling things to move around and it'll work better for me next weekend. i'm super excited!!! what a big girlie trip!!! i'm going to fly by myself and everything!!!! (scared.) ...i'm not going to be home for the big yard sale. uh oh. oh well.... (heehee)

i've got things to do!! going swimming at pammie's later! i'm gone for now!!!!